How I balance working from home and being a mom
Last year I had the opportunity to participate in a panel discussion at one of the Tokyo Universities about Work-Life Balance as a parent and professional. It was exciting to discuss time management and how to combine family life with professional life with university students. Many young people nowadays are worried about balancing work and family life and often opt to stay single.
Everybody knows that I am, first and foremost, a wife and a mother. I love my family, and the well-being of my child is my priority. I would not compromise this, and I would not sacrifice the happiness of our family to nothing. Not even a big paycheck. Why? Because I can.
Yes, it is that simple. I have the privilege to work for my husband’s company. Or at this point, for several companies that my husband and I established in the past two decades. That gives me a choice to balance work and family, customize my hours, set up appointments when convenient to our schedule, take time off when we decide to travel, etc. Yes, I get it; I am very lucky.
It is not without proper planning, though. I don’t just get up and go for a mani-pedi, pretending I’m working. If I learned one thing in the past five years or so, I have to have a very good plan. A schedule of sorts, where I carefully plan out my month, my week, and my day, to get things done. I am also a very reward-oriented person. It doesn’t have to be a monetary or physical reward but knowing I will get a shoutout after a well-done job keeps me running. Yes, I am that kind of person; I thrive on recognition, despite working very much in the background of my super successful husband. If I know I will get praised, I will work day and night to get things done.
Work/life balance is far more difficult for a woman than for a man because, even though men usually work longer and harder, women have to handle the household, children, and work simultaneously. In many countries, women are still considered mothers and wives only and are not taken seriously. Their opinion simply does not matter. I had personally experienced being told I should rather go back to the kitchen instead of involving myself in a business discussion. Despite living in the 21st century, women are still considered irrelevant, especially if they are mothers. I am proud of being a wife and a mother, but I am also a professional, and I want to be seen as one. Often, when my husband asks for my opinion in the middle of a meeting, many business partners look puzzled. They do not understand why he even brought the wife to the meeting, talkless of letting her speak. So knowing my opinion and my work matters to my husband, my business partner/boss, is very important, and it is the driving force behind all I do.
We ran a multinational company comprising several independent companies in Asia and Africa, different industries, operations, and systems. It is not easy, because we also have a young son, who needs his parents. But we make things work. How? Well, my husband takes the more challenging shift. He works around the clock, when necessary, often with long days, as our businesses operate on different continents at different hours. He travels a lot too, which leaves the home front and the local businesses to me for weeks at the time.
I am responsible for the marketing of all companies, from branding, marketing strategies, research, digital marketing, and PR. So how do I balance? By knowing what I can do, what I can let others do, and being flexible. Knowing what you can do and what you can delegate to others is crucial. I am the type of person who prefers doing everything by herself, which leads to being overwhelmed with tasks and not getting anything done. Total burnout, chaos, feeling of failure. So I had to learn to delegate, outsource, and accept help. That is hard for me because I often think, “before I teach somebody what to do, I’ll have it done myself.” It might be true, but on the other hand, teaching others and creating talents within the same company has long-term benefits.
Another important thing for me is having a proper plan. Yes, creating such a plan might take very long, but it’s worth it. At least in my case. I usually look at the tasks ahead for the month and then decide on the priorities, execution, and roles. Once I sort out the rough plan for the month, I create a more detailed plan for the upcoming week, and once that is done, I choose the most pressing matter that has to be done the next day. Knowing the priorities for the day, what has to be done at all costs, who I need to talk to about it, who can help with which task etc. I plan my day to 30 minutes intervals, staying true to myself, though. I even mark down when I simply sit and drink my coffee while playing Candy Crush or scroll through social media. That is also part of my daily plan. Because breaks are essential. So is time with your child or cooking dinner or exercise. If you want to balance your work and family life, you have to be honest with yourself; otherwise, you will fail.
As I work from home most of the time, I learned one thing. If you do not set boundaries, you will end up working till midnight, forgetting it’s still a job, even though you are sitting in your living room. If you are like me, finding yourself sitting at the computer by 11 pm, you need to create an end-of-day routine. Whether simply shutting off your computer by a specific time or finishing your day by creating a To-do list for the next day. Make sure you know that your workday is over and it’s time to be there for your family. The same goes for weekends and days off. Remember that the work will most probably wait for you, but your child will not stay the same age; it will not do the first step again, it will not score that goal or perform the play. Do not miss great moments of your family’s life because of work. Discuss with your boss and with your partner how you can make things work. And once you had your family time, go back to work and kick ass. Because yes, you can!
